Turn A Negative Experience Into A Positive One.

Siim Land

Because of the nature of the world we live in we’re inevitably going to have negative experience. In one of my post we’ve already come to terms with the fact that they’re going to happen whether we like it or not and showed ways on how to overcome them before they actually occur (read it here). This method bulletproofs us against their effect and gives us the ability to dictate our response. It allows us to not be affected by the turmoils of life.

What would be another level would be to turn every negative experience into a positive one. That way we could improve upon the quality of our life even in the most difficult of hardships. Let me explain.

Have you ever had a negative experience where the event turned out to be a lot better in the end than it was initially. For instance, if someone hadn’t never gone bankrupt they would’ve never had learned how to rebuild their business and actually make it better. The reference experience gained was worth a lot more as they can easily lose it all again and make an ever greater comeback. The same applies to an athlete who gets a severe injury in training because of recklessness. After recovery they not only know how to prevent that from happening again but also how to perform better than anyone else.

There is a lesson to be learned in everything that happens to us. Whether we realise it or not depends on how we respond. If we decide to see the negative experience that way we will inevitable perceive them as such. By changing our perception we will be able to recognize the positive outcome from it which later can benefit us.

To be able to do this, one has to be very mindful of their thoughts and emotions. Moreover, take control of them (read how to). Most of the time they happen unconsciously and are automatic. Without questioning their origin, we see them as normal and a part of us. However, in reality, they’re just our habitual response from the feedback loop of our subconscious mind.

In order to be able to see the positive outcome in our negative experience we need to be able to alter this back and forth bantering. We ought to be able to do it despite how grim the situation actually is. While being shipwrecked it’s quite difficult to be able to see the lesson in it. But later, after survival, it holds a magnificent story of how man overcame nature. Talk about blockbuster movies and bestselling books.

Changing our perspective later is easy as we’re already seeing some of the positive results. Imagine if we could attain this mindset during the actual events. This way we’ll be able to not only navigate through them with less damage but also gather even more reference experience. By doing this there is a possibility to actually turn it around right there at the spot. Frustration becomes a thing of the past as our self-mastery transforms it into something benefitial.

How to turn a negative experience into a positive one? What I mean by that is becoming conscious during the event, not letting the initial response perceive it as a bad thing, change the mental state and take specific action towards turning it around into a better one. It all comes down to making a decision of seeing things from another viewpoint and choosing to react differently. It’s an intervention of mindful reasoning and a revolution of our conscious self against the subconscious mind.

The foundation to this is having self-mastery and being in control of our thoughts and emotions. Additionally, we need to be able to take action aswell to instigate the process. The more we’re run by our habitual patterns the harder it’s going to be to become mindful in the situation. Luckily, once we know it’s possible we have enough resources we need to begin. Everything else is just the result of training. If we’ve made the decision to change, it becomes harder to act otherwise.

Now lets go through a few hypothetical scenarios where we can turn a negative experience into a positive one. These aren’t some easy cliché „see the sunshine in the rain“ type of examples. Instead, a lot more life changing events will be gone through, in which taking control will have a major impact on the course of things. The principles applied here can be used in any other situation aswell.

Situations where we can turn a negative experience into a positive one.

  • For instance, it’s winter and it’s freezing outside. Cold is very uncomfortable and something people try to hide from behind their clothes, fireplace and central heating. Despite that there are a lot of health benefits to it and lessons to be learned from it’s exposure, not to mention the superhuman ability to resist it which is a necessary feat for someone becoming a self-empowered being. Rather than trying to escape from it we need to turn the negative experience we usually get from gold into a positive one. The reason why we don’t like it is because we’re following our habitual patterns of thinking and associating it with something dreadful. However, once we’ve come to terms with the fact that it’s actually good and we’ll feel amazing afterwards then exposing ourselves to the cold becomes less of an issue. It begins with the realisation of the benefits, knowing that change is possible, taking control of our breath and thus dictating our response. What comes afterwards is a new pattern of action and reaction which we’ve deliberately created. To get more information about cold thermogenesis and how to adapt to freezing weather read this post. WARNING! People who have followed this type of training have experienced extreme euphoria, empowerment, happiness, enjoyment and superhuman wellbeing.
  • In life we will sometimes find ourselves in difficult circumstances which we don’t like. Not short occurances like rainy weather or an examination that last for only a day, but more lengthier time periods which we simply have to go through. They might be temporary jobs, wrong relationships or other responsibilities we can’t escape from. In my own case I had to go through 8 months of compulsory military service in my country. Everyone involved would’ve rather been somewhere else, but there was nothing we could do about it. Rather than becoming depressed like a few did I saw it as an opportunity. When we weren’t on an assignment I took the time to dedicate to my training. I did calisthenics every day, became a better reader and used creative visualization about the beautiful life I was going to have afterwards, instead of wasting the time doing nothing. I figured that it was the perfect place to be doing so. It, in a way, was a quest with physical, mental and spiritual manifestations, which shaped who I now am. The negative experience everyone else was having in the military got turned into a positive one because of how I decided to see it. I knew that all of the hardships I went through at sniper school would later benefit me immensely. That gave me strength to carry on.
  • A much more ordinary example ought to be given aswell. While I was writing my book I came across several occasions where either the Wi-fi wasn’t working, there wasn’t electricity or my laptop was going through a lengthy update making me unable to do work on the project. This, at that moment, was incredibly frustrating and something I had to accept. There was no way out of the situation as it wasn’t dependent upon me. The only thing I could do was to wait patiently for it to be solved. I’m not going to lie, initially it was difficult to not be affected but luckily, I immediately managed to remain calm and mindful of my thoughts. The realisation hit me that it’s the perfect opportunity to be practicing patience and being in uncomfortable situations. Rather than being frustrated I decided to turn this negative experience into a positive one. It gave a lot of reference to be able to maintain tranquility even in the eye of the storm. The conditioning it provided not only made my book writing process less stressful but also made me more resistant to other similar events.

All of these examples show that we can turn the negative experience we initially will have into a positive one. There are some steps which we have to go through in order to make it work.

  • Become mindful. – After the initial response we need to not let it take control of us. Instead, we need to recognize ourselves in the midst of the event and raise our awareness. Coming to terms with the fact that such things are inevitable and they happen to all will already prepare us to overcome them before they actually happen (read how to premeditate over these things).
  • Take control. – Regain any lost control over your thoughts and emotions (read how to). The foundation to it is to reestablish mindful breathing which would give you condifence to take further action. This is possible once we have the knowledge that it’s possible.
  • Change your perspective. – Once in control you’re conscious enough to investigate the circumstances from a different viewpoint. Try to find ways how to turn this negative experience into a positive one. See it as an opportunity. What lessons can be learned? How can you improve upon the situation? What needs to be done to do so? By changing your way of thinking you will raise your vibration and become proactive instead of reactive.
  • Make a deliberate decision. – Change won’t happen in of itself. In order for there to be any effect action has to be taken. It begins with a choice to do so. Once a commitment has been made it becomes easier to turn any negative experience into a positive one.
  • Take action. – After taking control, figuring out what needs to be done and the decision to instigate the process made then all that’s left is to simply conduct the necessary change. This means not only talking the talk but walking the walk. It may not be easy but without it we won’t be able to turn it around. If motivation is an issue for you then read this post on how to do it without any whatsoever.

In conclusion, there is something to be learned in all of the events that happen to us. Everything we go through is an opportunity to either shape our character, make us better or condition our mode of being. Every negative experience can be turned into a positive one which will benefit us in the future. It requires us to become more conscious, knowing the principles of change and following them.

What negative experience have you had that later turned out to be a lot better?

  • Great article- my negative experience was a long illness which changed my life completely. At the start it was very trying but because I had so little energy I was able to see the profound effect that negative thinking had on my strength. Because of this illness I have now managed to gain control of my mind, remove the fears and limitations that have held me back all my life and am now on my path to helping others.

    Our viewpoint on a situation, big or small, changes our world!

    • Thanks! Yes, our perspective and perception can literally change our world! Good luck!

  • Really well written~ I loved this muchly!

  • Changing ‘perspective’ is so important when in the midst of a negative situation. Stepping back and looking at the ‘picture’ from a different angle…

    • Yes, change your thinking and you change your world.

  • Great post, Siim! Your blog has really amazing tools and I’m so glad to follow you on your blog journey and to receive the great tips and information that you have to share. Thank you and stay blessed, my brother!

    • Thanks! Glad to be of service. Good luck on your journey.

  • I love this post…great advice.It is the best way to maximise experience 😃

    • Thanks! Everything is an opportunity to learn!

  • Fantastic, once again! My negative experiences are many–my brother was abusive toward me for many years, my family slightly less so–and I have tried to view their outcomes in this manner and it has helped a lot with my recovery. However, I would like to apply this practice to them while they are occurring to better my self and my attitude towards life. Thank you for your articulation and thoughtfulness.

    • Thanks and you’re welcome! Everyone can contribute from this and we should show people how to master themselves.