Have a Conversation With Yourself

Siim Land

We’re never alone. The person we spend most time with is ourself. This scares some people as they’re afraid of their own thoughts. That’s a shame, as it’s incredibly important to have a conversation with yourself.

First off, lets take a look at why would you want to have a conversation with yourself. Keep in mind, this isn’t something clinical or schizophrenic. Instead, it’s another means of self-enquiry and knowing thyself.

This is the best way to get to know who we are, what we want, what we need to do etc. All of the answers are already within us, in our body and consciousness. It’s just that we’ve become strangers to our mind and being. This is proved by the fact of how many people are run by their thoughts and emotions. Not knowing how to control them (read how to do it) they are the victims of the circumstances which they themselves have created. It’s incredibly important to be able to control these currents of energy.

Additionally, it befriends our subconscious mind and makes it work FOR not against us, as is it more often than not tends to be. In a way you’re not talking to you but to your subconsciousness that will create automatic patterns of action and reaction according to this dialogue.

If you have a conversation with yourself you can send the right signals to it, creating neural pathways and gateways that can benefit your life. What you give, is what you’ll get, as a positive feedback loop will begin to reaffirm everything you think about. By doing this you can, in a way, dictate your own reality.

To have a conversation with yourself you don’t even have to enter into an actual dialogue. It would be weird to be having several voices inside our head. Instead, what I mean by this is everything that our mind speaks. How we perceive the world, what speech goes on inside our head during different events and situations, are we on the positive or negative end of the spectrum, which words do we use the most to describe ourself, what’s our perception like etc.

Ways to have a conversation with yourself.

 

Basically, to have a conversation with yourself you don’t need to do anything but to have a thought in your mind which then will give rise to certain emotions and feelings. It’s a way to become more mindful and in control of our inner currents of energy.

Everything qualifies as such, that involves some sort of speech, or in some cases not even that. Only our perception is enough, as other senses get interpreted in our subconsciousness the same way. It all comes down to how we CHOOSE to see things and DECIDE to react.

  • Affirmations. This is probably the most powerful way to have a conversation with yourself. It’s not a dialogue but almost you simply feeding your subconscious mind certain statements which will produce certain reactions, leading to an appropriate state dependent of what you’re emanating. If you keep saying to yourself positive things you will inevitably begin to recreate it giving yourself even more power. The law of cause and effect. What we give is what we’ll get. Not only will you manage to produce a beneficial feedback loop but also increase your motivation, strength and perseverance in any given situation. By doing so you can produce energy even when you think there’s none to be found. It only takes a statement, repeated several times, to do so. Here are a few examples: „I got this!“ „Let’s do it!“ „Almost there!“ „This is great!“. One of my favourites is used by NAVY SEALs „Looking good, feeling good, ought to be in Hollywood!“
I got this!
Click image to know why you would want it to be tough.

 

  • Reframing. – At any given moment we’re in an emotional state, which can be measured on a spectrum. Some are positive and negative while others are somewhere in the middle. How we feel is influenced by what our score is. Luckily, we can calibrate our own vibrations according to our liking at any given time. Our reality isn’t dependent of the external world but relies solely on our perception. People reacting differently in the same situations also have different emotional states. To have a conversation with yourself that produces quality emotions then you need not do anything else but dwell on emotions which you want to feel. It’s recognizing oneself in the midst of chaos, making a decision, taking control and reframing the experience. (Read more on how to do it.)
  • Compliments. – Have a conversation with yourself like you would with any other person you like. Giving compliments and praise to your own efforts is a great way to make the relationship more enjoyable.
  • Self-Enquiry. – To have a conversation with yourself you don’t only need to calibrate your emotional state or affirm them. It can be also used for self-reflection. In fact, it’s one of the best ways to do so. Just look at your thoughts and emotions objectively. Also, see who you really are and what’s your mode of being like. This way you recognize where your life is currently at and where you’re heading. Adjustments, if necessary, can be made to stay on course. Meditation is a great way to do this. (Read about different breathing techniques and practices.)
  • Contemplation. – The unexamined life isn’t worth living“ said Socrates. Take the time you have a conversation with yourself and think about the nature of the Universe. Contemplate over your own being and the world around you.
  • Ask a question. Receive an answer. – Most of the time we already know the answers to our problems. Human consciousness is collective, meaning that our minds are all connected to a vast pool of wisdom created by all of the generations before us. The knowledge is embedded within us but most of the time we don’t have an access to it. Occasionally we have a strange feeling in our gut and know what needs to be done. It’s our intuition leading the way. To make it more deliberate and readily available we need to propose a certain question to our subconsciousness which then will start to dwell on trying to find an answer. What we think about most grows and if we have a problem of some sort then we’re bound to find a solution to it. The subconsciousness will work on it constantly and if our conscious self is assisting this aswell then eventually the imaginative light bulb above our head will light up.

Things to remember when you have a conversation with yourself.

 

In order to have a conversation with yourself that’s beneficial and awesome there are some things we need to keep in mind. If we were to do it wrong then the consequences would be detrimental.

  • Be positive. Needless to say that this is a must. If you have a conversation with yourself then the subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between the reality and what it receives. It only gets what we give to it. Meaning, every angry or fearful emotion, despite the context, gets interpreted the same. It’s all bad and will reinforce the feedback loop. Another thing to remember is to avoid using negative wording aswell. When using affirmations you need to state exactly what you want to empower. If you say I don’t want to be diseased then the subconsciousness will only receive the „diseased“ part. It will then begin to manifest the illness, not prevent it. Instead of focusing on the things you want to avoid concentrate on the things you want and are positive. Use „I’m awesome!“ not „I’m not miserable.“
  • Give instant feedback. In different activities immediately congratulate yourself. For instance, when you finish an activity extraordinarily well then have an affirmation that would assert your mastery and skill. It can be anything like „I’m so good at this!“ or „Next time it’ll be even better.“ Doing this during the activity itself will also reinforce you’re performance giving more energy to keep at it. This is incredibly important when trying to enter FLOW which is difficult to achieve on challenging tasks (Read how to enter FLOW). In fact, do this even when you fail to perform as well as you expected. It’s better to not be negative about ourself.
cold thermogenesis
Click image for some freezing cold thermogenesis.
  • Make it a habit. The more you have a conversation with yourself that’s awesome and positive the more benefits you’re going to get. If you incorporate all of the affirmations, reframing, instant feedback and self-enquiry into every thing you do then you’ll be able to directly influence your emotional state at all times. Something happens to you but it won’t be that bad as, after you have a conversation with yourself, it will all be insignificant. More importantly, you’ll be able to feel amazing in any situation you’re in. Making this type of self-talk a habit will grant you access to the empowered version of yourself that’s vibrating with the right type of energy and in control of their own reality. (Read a post on how to stick to your goals which includes habits and how to conduct this change.)

have a conversation with yourself

  • Don’t go overboard. Of course, we can only take this so far until it will make us crazy. If you’re constantly talking to yourself in your own head then you can actually make it a bad habit. Instead of having to be constantly on the lookout for opportunities or to not lose vigilance we want to arrive at a point where the affirmations just happen in of themselves. Without having to deliberately state them they have to become a habitual part of ourself. There ought to be no other option other than giving positive feedback and reframe our state whenever necessary.
  • Give it to others as well. It’s not only about what we can get but more importantly, what we can give. Becoming a self-empowered being isn’t only for selfish purposes. Instead, it’s about making a change in the world by first starting with ourself. Self-mastery is the foundation to the advancement of the entire mankind. Once this is achieved and we’re in control of our own inner currents of energy we will inevitably want to share it with others. Positive energy vibrates at such a high level that we will begin to emanate it in our actions thus influencing those around us as well. It’s not about becoming a big ball of joy about to burst but instead helping others to take control of their own life. If you can have a conversation with yourself that benefits you then it might do so to others as well. Use the affirmations and feedback techniques on those around you as it will make you that much more greater.

So, by following these techniques and guidelines of this post you’ll be able to have a conversation with yourself that can improve your life by making it that much more awesome. It will allow you to not only alter your emotional state willingly but also serves as a great way to get in touch with your own thoughts. This is an incredibly important part of becoming a self-empowered being. What it means and how to accomplish this? Well, follow this website, buy my book, read it and transform your life. It will also allow you to achieve body-mind-mastery and live your calling.

Manifest your greatness and reach your truest potential!

  • So interesting that I am reading this at this particular time in my life. I am out of work temporarily and have been spending lots of time with myself! Not use to this by far. I have grown accustomed to going going GOING! The conversation with myself initially was not positive but I quickly had to put that to bed because was not good for my self image. Instead I began to reflect, analyze, and really think about what I want for myself. I’m calling the shots from here on out! May not be easy but what I was doing prior wasn’t either so why not put that same energy into me! Great post; loving your blog sir! Chanel

    • Thanks! It’s true so many of us are too foreign to who we truly are. That’s why we feel like life is passing by us without us even noticing because we don’t take the time to reflect and enjoy the process.

  • Great information – thanks.

  • Thank you Siim Land for your wisdom and this wonderful blog. I repeat affirmations all the time too. I always start the affirmation with, “I am …” This seems to be more powerful for me. I hope you’re having a happy and peaceful Sunday! Best regards, ~dp

  • thankyou for sharing